Taking a bite out of Charlotte, or Oink Oink Part Deux.

Sorry I've been so MIA - I went on a long overdue and much-needed vacation.
Ahh.
Went back to work today and it was like the vacation didn't happen.
OK ... maybe I am slightly dramatic.

What better way to recapture my wonderful vacation to visit my brother in North Carolina than to list all the wonderfully fatty and non-diet friendly food I ate.
Unfortunately, there are no pics to accompany, but I'm sure we can all envision how great they all were.

- Wednesday, Aug. 5
LUNCH: Frankie's Italian Grille. Charlotte.
Had the Mona Lisa salad which comes with amazing dressing and fresh goat cheese that is to die for (my brother says they sometimes deep fry it - oh, the deliciousness that must be!). I also wailed on every slice of bread that was served with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Plus, I ordered the orgasmic Nutella bread pudding. Yes, it was as sinfully exquisite as it sounds.

DINNER: Azteca. Charlotte.
Had chips and salsa at this delightful Mexican joint and fresh, table made guacamole that was served in a real stone bowl. I could barely even lift it, which made it that much easier for me to wail on it. Fresh jalapenos gave it a fiery kick. I realized that I absolutely adore tamales. And burritos smothered in cheese. Think maybe I knew that but forgot. (As if!) Since I ate so well-behaved (wink, wink), I treated myself to a lime margarita on the rocks.

In the interim between lunch and dinner, I was introduced to Sweet Tea vodka. I don't know where it's been all my life, but it is certainly here to stay now.

- Thursday, Aug. 6
BRUNCH: Ate my leftover Mexican.

DINNER: Hawthorne's New York Pizza & Bar. Mint Hill.
We all shared the chili cheese dip and I ate two exquisite slices of round with hot peppers and one slice Sicilian with mushrooms and black olives. Finished the Nutella bread pudding after brother and "sister" went to bed. Not because I was eating in hiding, but because I honestly forgot. This may have been the night I watched "The Nanny Diaries."

- Friday, Aug. 7
BRUNCH: I think I ate leftover pizza. Cold, naturally.

DINNER: Cosmos Cafe. Uptown Charlotte.
After meeting friends at their house for drinks and things, we all headed out for tapas and a continuation of drinking as I was already about four deep into a Sweet Tea vodka binge. We split an array of sushi, Lucky 7 spring rolls and many other things. I heard Jamie Foxx's "Blame It," which caused me to burst into it many times over the rest of my vacation, much to my brother's anger.

{The night then included a flirtini at Blue, mad fun dancing and Sweet Tea vodka and lemonades at The Breakfast Club, an '80s-themed heaven, if you ask me, and a very, very funny cab ride with a Liberian driver who had "Scarface" on the DVD player. The ride included tales of sheep and me repeating the only line from "Scarface" that I know: "Meet my lil' friend!" Ahh. Good times.}

- Saturday, Aug. 8
DINNER: Shrimp, filet and lobster tail on the grill.
We skipped breakfast and lunch because we all felt the effects from the night before all day. Brother grilled the above and it was phenomenal. I relieved his refrigerator of two framboise Lambics.

- Sunday, Aug. 9
BRUNCH: Upstream. Charlotte.
Where where where to even begin. This was the most exquisite brunch I've ever had, and believe me, I've had a lot! Cheese. Capers. Smoked salmon. Mac n cheese. Hummus. Even raw oysters and sushi for those that could eat that at 11:30 a.m., which I could not. The best part? The tapas, which is included in the brunch buffet. Eggs Benedict over a crab cake. Yes, you heard me: Eggs Benedict over a crab cake. Belgium waffle with bourbon bananas. The most ridiculously good French toast. Shrimp with grits which was actually really good (not normally a fan of grits). Despite all that sugary sustenance - especially with double servings of the Belgium waffle, I had to have the pecan pie and chocolate peanut butter dessert thing. I felt like I ate my weight.

DINNER: Mac's Speed Shop. Charlotte.
This biker bar/barbecue had amazing hush puppies and the brisket was off the hook, as the hipsters say. So tender! And the onion rings were super peppery and tasty. Add two cans o' Guinness to wash it down and I was one very happy piggy!

- Monday, Aug. 10
BREAKFAST: Cracker Barrel. Matthews.
You simply cannot go wrong with Cracker Barrel. Two eggs over easy. Hash brown casserole. Biscuits and gravy. Coffee. Grapefruit juice. Manna from the sky.

DINNER: Turkey, ham and provolone hoagie and fries from a place whose name escapes me.
Very tasty, especially since it capped off a day of non-stop drinking. Sweet Tea martinis. Most of the framboise.

- Tuesday, Aug. 11
BREAKFAST: Brother made pancakes and scrambled eggs with crab and toast.
Green Mountain Island Coconut coffee. Mmm mmm good!

LUNCH: Just a quick sandwich before we left for the airport.

{Note: Despite a previous declaration, I did not actually take any outfits that resembled workout clothes. The only shoes I had were two pairs of flip-flops and two pairs of stilettos. I basically did nothing more than stuff my face every chance I got and stayed as sedentary as I possibly could - it was everything I knew it could be.}

{Note II: And I actually came home one pound lighter!}

Fin.

Ramblings on rambles on.

Sitting here deliciously half blitzed from two vodka-heavy martinis.
I love how I get that teeny bit lit and all of a sudden I feel like Doing Things.

Like organizing my home desk at last. And making my calendar kosher with my day planner, which I just updated yesterday. Never mind that I never look at said planner because I fully believe in the sticky system and/or e-mailing myself reminders, but I will feel more Efficient if I do so.

Switching Gears

It is so windy here in Northeastern Pa. tonight.
It was a crazy day of darkness, sunlight, pouring rain, misty rain and wind on and off. Seeing such black black skies against sunlight made me think it was the end of the world or something.

The house was rattling so much before that I cautiously peeked out through the blinds to see if houses were flying about.

Instead I saw something gorgeous: an abandoned umbrella dancing in the wind.
It was like that plastic bag that the creepy hot kid next door in "American Beauty" filmed.
If I felt like putting my galoshes back on, I would have gone out and taken video of it to share.
Instead, use your imagination.

Switching Gears

Sometimes I get so angry I just want to scream.
Or break a pencil, if I used pencils and not solely blue PaperMate pens.

I chalk it up to being Sicilian. Or psycho. I'll go with the former, thank you kindly.

Switching Gears

Sometimes I think I'll never get it together - then I remember that nobody has their shit together. And if they do, they're a God damn liar. That's comforting.

Switching Gears

It's safe to say that I think about food way too much, and exercise way to little for how much I like to eat.

Switching Gears

I hate being an insomniac. The worst part is I just lay in bed waiting for sleep to come, instead of getting up and reading or writing.

OK, now about that calendar project.
It's an Anne Taintor joint.
I shall leave you with April's fitting quip, as I got blonder just last night.