Wilkes-Barre state of mind.

A week from now, the presents will be open and Christmas Day will soon change into The Day After Christmas.

I am not done shopping and dread going to finish.

Things have been so hectic and busy that I've not had the time to buy the rest of my gifts, and when I have had time, I chose to spend it having fun, like the great party I attended last night at Revere Pictures in downtown Wilkes-Barre, for example.

Is that so wrong?
Will Santa leave me off the good list for taking care of my needing of a fabulous party? I hope not because the party was good for me. I got to hone my rusty mingling skills and, from the seventh floor of a downtown building I'd never been in before, I got to see a Wilkes-Barre I'd never seen before.

I'd driven and walked around Public Square a million times in my lifetime and never did I have such an appreciation for it as I do now after seeing it from seven, and later in the night, 11 stories up.

The way the cars snaked around the Square, white headlights and red taillights offset by its white-lit trees was poetic. I stood in front of a wall of windows and saw the city seemingly for the first time.

It was so moving. So almost metropolitan. So calming. So unlike the things I see when I walk the streets during the day in search of lunch.

And on the other side of the floor, seeing the eagles of the Market Street Bridge, was equally inspiring. Seeing them from such a height highlighted how regal and strong they are.

It was a great evening on so many levels, and the free booze wasn't even at the forefront. It was the conversations, the companionship, the schmoozing, the meeting new people. It was seeing a city I'm often quick to dump on - a lot of times rightly so, mind you (you do read the paper, right?) - in a whole new light: the light of the night.

My mind needs an "Off" button.

While I've been caught up in the Christmas spirit, I've not been feeling very inspired, hence the lack of Ramblings Ons.

I've made nary a journal entry either, choosing to think instead of write or tap the keyboard.

Or choosing to not think at all, and just revel in those rare thoughtless moments, where I envision my mind to be nothing but a snowy TV screen.

Sometimes I live for those moments.
I find it so hard to shut my mind off - to not only relax sometimes, but just go with the flow, to bob with the ocean's waves.

What do you do to shut your mind off for a night, an hour or even 10 minutes?
Tell me your secret, so I can have more thoughtless moments!

Time to take the plunge.

I'm not going to lie to you.
I'll just have out with it.

I have dial up.
Yes, I dared say it.
{And if I could whisper-type, I would.}
Dial up.
I'll say it once more for emphasis.
Dial. Up.

I hate it, but I'm such a miser that I honestly don't want to pay for something better even though I so so SO desperately need it.

I need it to make blogging easier.
I need it to "Get With It."
I need it to keep my sanity in tact.

I'm thinking Comcast high speed, and not just because I adore Bill Slowsky commercials. I just already pay Verizon a pirate's ransom and thought I'd spread my debt around.

What are your thoughts on Comcast??

{Speaking of, whatever happened to Mr. Slowsky? Anyone? Anyone?}

Four days in November.

Here is sit with my big 4-day weekend winding down.
{Waaaaaaaa!!}

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgorging, I know I did - sans the gorge as planned, which felt good!
{I will have you know I even walked 2.5 miles the morning after at the country haus!}

For the first time in eons, a long weekend was just that - long. Last Wednesday seems like it was a year ago.

I packed a lot into these past four days, and enjoyed well-well-well-deserved time away from the office - and my e-mail which I've often checked over the course of a weekend since having access to it on phone.

I got to spend some time with the parents.
I got to play with my BFF.
I got to bring Christmas to the apartment which, in turn, made me swollen with the Christmas spirit.
{It's such a terrible and fabulous way to describe one's spirit, yes?}
I got to discover Laughing Cow cheese.
{How the hell did I ever live without it?!}
And most importantly:
I got to recharge myself.

Let's go holiday season!
{If only I could make my swollen-with-holiday-spirit self start Christmas shopping!}

Happy Thanks-gorging!

After taking a brisk 3.5 mile walk today, I vow to not gorge myself at the table today - as I do every year.

I'm not a huge turkey fan, so I usually take seconds - and sometimes thirds - of green bean casserole, sweet potato casserole and Mom's super-delicious homemade mashed potatoes.

I might have two scoops of the cranberry-citrus relish and I sure as hell have a bigger slice of my bourbon chocolate pecan pie topped with my homemade bourbon whipped cream than I should have, but that's all part of the holiday right?

Not this year.
This year, I'm thankful that I'm putting a limit on myself, for my own damn good.

But that's not all I'm thankful for, in fact, that's the least of it.

I'm thankful that my Mom is well - knock wood.

I'm thankful for her more than I could ever express - for being there, for talking me down from the proverbial ledge, for just being her fabulous self and for making the Manhattans we will drink together today and be thankful for each other together.

I'm thankful for the rest of my family - my father, brother and "sister." For always being there, or just a phone call away when I need them most.

I'm thankful for being strong enough to handle what life throws at me, even if I do let it get me down sometimes.

I'm thankful for having legs strong enough to allow me to take the walk I did today, lungs that were able to breathe in the crisp morning and eyes that could see my surroundings.

And most of all I'm thankful I have people and things to be thankful for.

Words to live by.

The following quotes are taking from the current issue of Glamour magazine. The issue celebrates the magazine's Women of Year. One section had some advice from women - some who've been past Women of the Year, some who were well-known, and all of them strong and inspiring.

These two quotes stuck out at me so much that I couldn't stop reading them, going so far as to cut them out and paste them in my - nerd alert! - Quote Notebook.

They're inspiring words that I think I'll continue to revisit when I need a little picking up and a little Power From Within.

"Cherish your solitude.
Take trains by yourself to places you have never been.
Sleep out alone under the stars.
Learn how to drive a stick shift.
Go so far away that you stop being afraid of not coming back.
Say no when you don't want to do something.
Say yes if your instincts strong, even if everyone around you disagrees.
Decide whether you want to be liked or admired.
Decide if fitting in is more important than finding out what you're doing here. Believe in kissing."
~~ from Eve Ensler's upcoming book "I Am an Emotional Creature"

"In life, sometimes everything falls into place, and sometimes everything just falls to pieces. The key is to begin creating with these fallen pieces. By improvising, you'll create something magical that might be the best thing you've ever accomplished."
~~ Tori Amos

Thanksgivings, early.

About two weeks ago, I was thinking about how different my life was compared to this time last year.

It was a sad little reflection for me as I recalled how happy I'd been, then, and how hopeful I'd felt about my future.

For the first time in my life, I could almost see that White Picket Fence, even if it was a little imperfect. For the first time in my life, I wanted that imperfect White Picket Fence.

I was so full of love for the first time in a very, very long time.
And it felt good.

As you've probably guess, those feelings and visions are gone - long gone. It was for the best, it really was, but I'm not going to lie and say that when I imagined this time this year last year {got that?}, I thought it would be different.

I'd been carrying around those thoughts, some Woe Is Me stress and burning the candle at both ends when I got some news that made all these things seem as minuscule as broken crayons.

Not that I wanted it, but it was a reality check I so desperately needed.

I needed it to remind me what's really important.
I needed it to make me thankful for what I do have in my life:
- an amazing, strong and beautiful mother who is always there.
- a kind and loving father who would do anything for us.
- a great big brother who is such a sage for me.
- friends who are supportive and caring.

Today, we got the news we were hoping and praying for.
Today, I give thanks for where I am in my life.
I wouldn't trade it for the world, or a thousand white picket fences, perfect, imperfect or otherwise.