On salt and milk.

I hate milk almost as much as I love salt.
If I never had to drink milk again, I wouldn't.
If I could have a salt lick without being considered a freak, I totally would.
In fact, said salt lick would be like my beloved mint ChapStick - always within an arm's reach in every room of my house, in my purse, at work, etc etc.
I would love to go to that roadside attraction building made out of salt.
{Google it. You'll see. And you'll see you can actually lick the building!}

Milk, on the other hand, is pushed to the back of my fridge where I stare at it disdainfully save for when I have my bowl of cereal every other morning
{I alternate cereal, usually fake Cheerios, with an egg-white omelet.}

I've always hated milk, ever since I was a kid.
It bothers my stomach, and the taste and smell really make me cringe. But I force myself to put extra with my cereal and never let myself throw out what's leftover in the bowl.
{A girl needs her calcium you know.}

For the past two weeks, I've not added salt to anything I've eaten.
I just decided one day to break up with added salt.
This is a major step for me - I seriously would put salt on salt if I could.

So now that it's second nature to not reach for the white shaker, I needed another challenge for myself, and it is as follows:

Finish my half-gallon of milk.
Every week.
Every single week from here on out.
I always throw a lot of it away on the expiration date
{I am very OCD about the dates on dairy products}
but going forward, beginning with the half gallon I have now, it will be emptied by ingestion.
{I hope I can do it without retching.}

Let's play catch up, shall we?

OK, it's not that I've been all slacker with blogging.

Yes, life has been full and rich and fantastic (knock wood) the past month and a half since I last wrote, but most of it is because I still have not called for high speed Internet, and my computer is a persnickety little bitch sometimes that just refuses to let me onto to Blogger.

And I hate it and curse at it and come thisclose to hitting it with a hammer, but then, there are times like tonight when I actually had a rare burst of patience and it loads up just fine because I give it the time it needs to load because I'm doing Other Things Around the House.

It's win-win for both of us methinks.

Now let's bring Ramblings On up to speed:
- I'm still working two jobs, and while I enjoy the extra stipend, it's a pretty exhausting life I'm living, but I'm making it work. Or at least trying to.
{Pray that my dad wins the lotto one of these weeks, OK? Thanks.}

- I'm still struggling with the diet and exercise. It's hard dating a fellow foodie, but I'm happy, incandescently, stupidly happy with the boyfriend, so I take that, too, as a win-win. I just have to find that balancing act between the good eats together and the me doing Healthy Things in between. I'm getting there. Slowly but surely.

- We just got back from another romantic trip to New York City, where we walked the streets, saw the Tim Burton exhibit at MoMA (and an installation that included, but is not limited to, naked men humping a mountaintop, woman dancing in the rain nude and live naked people), ate cupcakes from Magnolia Bakery and CupcakeStop, took in an independent film ("When You're Strange," about The Doors)at the Angelika, shared a Monster Pizza and grew even closer to each other. I'm crazy about this man and I don't care who knows it.

Wow, a month and a half so neatly packaged into two paragraphs? Who knew?

Hope all's been well with you, if you're still out there and can bear with someone who still has dialup. I hope you can, because I feel like I'm getting into a really cool creative place again, so I hope you'll stay along for the ride.

Starve a cold? I think not.

After having a fantastically romantic time in New York City last weekend, I have been overcome with a terrible cold.
{Yes, I'm super glad the cold didn't show up during said fantastically romantic weekend, but that doesn't mean I want it here now.}

It's derailed my diet and derailed The (New) New Regime because the very thought of Air Climbing with a chest cold and stuffy head makes me want to get back in bed even more.

I ate Chinese take out three days this week - and enjoyed every damn bite I'll have you know - but when I got on the scale this morning, I saw that the number crept up a tiny bit which makes me sick ... well, sicker.

For the first time since starting T(N)NR, I've wanted to binge eat because I just want to feed the hell out of this cold to make it go away.

Looks like I've succeeded, except the cold is still here.
Balls!

Phlog from Pittsburgh trip, and other news.

It's been ages since I last blogged, and for that I'm sorry.

Since I last wrote, I:
- have lost - and kept off - a total of 10 lbs. since the beginning of January
- received a dozen red roses for Valentine's Day (for the very first time in my 32.5 years!)
- took a weekend jaunt to visit friends in Pittsburgh
- was declared a girlfriend. :)

My trip to the 'burgh was my first full weekend off since Halloween, and I so desperately needed it. I'm happy to report that there was a ton of booze, food and friendship from the whirlwind Friday-night-to-Sunday-morning trip - and I maintained my weight! In fact, I ate whatever the hell I wanted, but knew when to call it quits.
{Naturally, I am quite proud of myself!}

Following are some photos from the trip. It's been a while since I've done a phlog!


Self portrait en route.


Pretty Pennsylvania landscape whizzing by.


Blue skies all the way across the Keystone State!


I was fascinated by this teeny, tiny toilet in the handicapped stall at the Altoona Sheetz!
{By "fascinated," I totally mean I wanted to use it!}


More Pa. landscape, but there's a train track up on that there mountain!


Told you!


A dilapidated Hungarian restaurant just inside city limits.


"Because you deserved better than hotel soap."


Now that's what I call a welcome basket!


First highballs of the weekend!


... and in plastic cups!


Our first brews at the amazing Church Brew Works (read all about it here:)


The absolutely fabulous ones.


Me and Tiff - who I hadn't seen since her Oct. 17 wedding!!


The most amazing fish sandwich ever! I talked about it all damn weekend!


In front of the tanks at Hofbräuhaus Pittsburgh - they did not let us put straws in, though we did try, Lord, we tried!


Taaa daaa!


Like booze, documentation is a form of preservation!


This is where the team that won SIX Super Bowl rings plays!!


Even closer to the Steelers' field!


Frolicking among Andy Warhol's "Silver Clouds." (Learn about his museum here)


Tiff in the clouds.


Johnny in the clouds, or my "avant-garde photo."


Andy!


We're always up to no good!


On the bridge outside the Grand Concourse.


Snowy tracks.


Goth of the North, Nanook's long-lost sister.


In trying to hide the fact I was eating ice cream before a photo, I tried to hide the cup inside my coat, which caused ice cream to get all over my coat and sweater.
{In case you're wondering, it was Hershey's cake batter ice cream.}


See, you can't even tell I housed ice cream directly prior to this photo!!


The PGH skyline at sunset.


Ceiling inside the Grand Concourse.


Our wares from the Warhol: Johnny's are the soup cans; I have Jackie and the Andy quote: "I wonder if it's possible to have a love affair that lasts forever."

Fin.

Cheater, cheater.

I'm down another three pounds, which brings my total loss since the beginning of January to nine - and FINALLY taking me out of the same group of ten pounds that I've been in for the last three years!!
PLUS I did 40 minutes on the Air Climber today!
SUCCESS!!

However, the way I found that out today kind of makes me feel like a cheater.
Instead of weighing myself on Monday, as is always my custom, I weighed myself today.
Not because I intend to gorge myself at a post-work Super Bowl party this evening, but because I do plan on eating at said party.

Let me explain.
I get out of work at 7 p.m. on Sundays, which I find pretty late to be sitting down for a meal, but I do because there's really no time to eat at work. During the week, I have my daily Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich between 7-8 p.m. because I mentally Close the Kitchen immediately following dinner.

I just know that by the time I get to the party and have a few healthy nibbles - fingers crossed I steer clear of my arch nemesis chips and dip - it will be well past 8 p.m.

And weighing myself tomorrow will only get me down because I know it wouldn't really be a true number. Does that make sense or am I a retched no-good cheater of my diet system?

If the latter, if I promise never to do this again, am I still a bad person?

In other diet confession news, I went to a fantastic pizza/wing place, Frog Pond in Wilkes-Barre, Friday night.
{check out its Web site here: Frog Pond}
I indulged in two cuts of Sicilian and five wings, which I never had before and which were amazing. I didn't feel guilty one bit because I knew I had been good all day because I had saved my points. I hadn't had the pizza in eons, it used to be a Tuesday night tradition at the Weekender many moons ago, one in which I'd house about half a tray by myself.

The next day, I had two leftover cuts - which quickly turned into two more (they're cut into really small squares I swear).
Suddenly, as I mindlessly ate cut No. 4 in like 30 seconds, I envisioned a flashing "Danger Danger" sign. Having five cuts remaining still in the fridge, I did the only thing I could do.

I looked at them longingly for a second before I dumped them out of the box into the garbage. Drastic measures, but a necessary measure. I'm glad I was able to enjoy them when they were fresh and oozy with cheese and as cold leftovers, but I wasn't doing myself any favors having them in my fridge.

Have you ever resorted to such a tactic to save yourself from temptation?

January success!

Well, I'm happy to report that I am down a grand total of six pounds for January!

I was hoping for more, naturally, but I think the most important thing is that I did everything at my own pace, made it fun for me and finally, finally, finally did it right.

So right it's what has always been, for me, that elusive Lifestyle Change.

If I keep up the good work for February as I damn well plan on, I'll be where I want to be by Easter at the latest!

And then it'll be spring and walking after work and in the morning and and and!

When does a resolution become a lifestyle change?

I'm two weeks in on The (New) New Regime, and I'm still going strong!!
I've exercised 13 of the 15 days that have passed since I began on Sunday, Jan. 3.
Some of those days were nothing more than 15 minutes on the Air Climber, some I did dozens of squats, lunges and abs, some I even worked out in the morning and evening.

I know T(N)NR is still in it's infancy - it's only been two weeks for heaven's sake - but I can't help but wonder:
When does a resolution become a lifestyle change?

Is in when you're excited about getting up in the morning to exercise?
Is it when you restructure your day to include some sort of movement, whatever you can do because it all counts?
Is it when you stop stuffing yourself when you eat, even if you're still a little hungry?
Is it when you mentally put the "Closed" sign on the kitchen?
Is it when you automatically seek out healthful items on a menu instead of going for what you really could go for?

Whenever a resolution becomes such a change, I'm ready for it.
Finally.

If you struggle to make those changes you vowed to do two weeks ago - which seems like a lifetime ago, doesn't it? - here are some things that I found are really getting me closer to the lifestyle change:

- Every night, I put my workout clothes at the end of the bed so they're already at the ready for my morning workout.
- I set my alarm for super early so if I hit snooze like I usually do, I still have more than enough time to get some sort of movement in.
{Being a night owl/insomniac like I am, this sometimes sucks, but I try to have lights out by 11 p.m. during the week.}
- I keep a food diary religiously. More importantly, I keep an honest food diary.
{I'm not helping myself at all if I keep mum about the two links of hot sausage I just popped in my mouth because I was feeling peckish.}
- LOTS AND LOTS OF WATER.
{While I've always loved drinking water, I finally understand how much of a difference drinking the correct amount makes. I'm still hungry a lot of the time, but it's definitely more manageable because of making sure I get at least my eight glasses in.}
- I keep nothing tempting in the house. Nothing.
{For my daily dessert, I've stocked up on Skinny Cow mint ice cream sandwiches, which are horribly expensive but necessary giving my penchant/weakness for chocolate.}
- Moderation, moderation, moderation.
{I finally learned that "diet" isn't "die" with a T. It's something manageable that I can still enjoy everything I love on sometimes, but without stuffing myself sick.}
- Mix it up.
{I'll do my Air Climber most days because it's convenient. Sundays are my walk days, weather permitting, and I clock in 2-3.5 miles, depending on my route. Some mornings I do yoga or Pilates so I don't get bored. Food wise, I generally eat the same things for lunch to keep myself in check (and because I enjoy my "usuals"), and try to have a different dinner each night.}

What works for you?

Addendum to my previous post.

I am happy to report that when I got dressed this morning, the belt I usually wear with one of my favorite dresses was ...

... wait for it ...

loose!!!!

So much so, in fact, that it kept slipping down throughout the day!

Talk about a Pick Me Upper - and Diet Success!!

Disappointed, trying not to be discouraged.

I'm trying not to be upset.
Today was my first weigh in since starting The (New) New Regime and after exercising every day but Saturday and eating really, really well and in moderation and some days not even hitting my points allotment I only lost two pounds.

What the [loudly shouted expletive]?

I know I know I know two pounds is a commendable loss.
I know it is a safe per-week loss according to all those reports from doctors I've been reading about in my health magazines all these years, but
that's it?

It's better than a gain, so there's that.

My plan is to continue on the same eating course I've been on, up my exercises - shooting for twice a day if possible - and upping my daily time on the Air Climber, even if I have to get up even earlier to do so.

This is that important to me - and my health.

Plus, like the good Joan Baez said,

"Action is the antidote to despair."

I'm sure the "despair" she speaks of is a lot worse than the "despair" I'm feeling this morning, but I'm sure she'd be glad to know her words came into my e-mail inbox at precisely the right moment.

An angelic dining experience

Last night, the old folks invited me to dinner at Olive Garden because Papa had a gift card from work.
Naturally, I accepted.
{As I would any one who offers to take me to dinner.}

I was interested to see how I would handle my first non-controlled meal of The (New) New Regime, especially at a place that brings delicious bread sticks repeatedly to your table.

It would have been so easy to go with the stuffed chicken Marsala* Mommalah got because it sounded yummy, or the steak and gorgonzola Alfredo** I've had before, but I wanted to behave so I went with the grilled salmon and broccoli.

I had soup as an appetizer and
did
not
have
one
bread stick.

Not. A. One!

Can you see my halo?
I can!


*A whopping 32 Weight Watcher points!!
**I was afraid to check the points value in fear of heart attack

The New Regime: Challenge No. 2? MET!

I am extremely happy to report that I survived my 100 required sit ups this morning!!

In fact, they were completed before 7:30 a.m.!
I did 50 before and 50 after Air Climbing, and though it did get rough at the end, I pushed through it.

I felt so accomplished and honestly, I carried myself a little taller today because I felt good about myself.

When I looked in the mirror this morning, I already saw what a difference a few days of being mindful of my eating and actually working out made.

I'm finally chiseling away to the Nikki that's been hidden under all this extra baggage for so long.

But instead of using a hammer to pick at it, I'm going all jackhammer on its ass.

And that's kind of my favorite part.

A challenge has been issued.

First, I'd like to let you know that I'm still calling my current diet and exercise goals The New Regime because:

No. 1: I plain just like the name.
No. 2: I've already created a tag for it.

Now that that's been cleared up, my dear friend Tiffany - who I've written about here before and who has always been my "thinspiration" - and I are trying to keep ourselves on track together, despite me living here in NEPA and she out in Pittsburgh.

We are going to do daily calls, e-mails or texts to each other to motivate ourselves and hold ourselves accountable.

One of our goals is to take part in the inaugural Red Cross 5K in March.

Tiff decided today that we need to issue ourselves little challenges to keep us constantly on our toes.

Today's was easy: Drink eight glasses of water.
It's something I do pretty much every day because I love water, so wasn't too much of a stretch for me.

However, that doesn't mean I didn't feel the benefits of really making sure I got my eight in.

I am usually starving beyond belief by the time noon rolls around (and I eat a well-balanced breakfast every day), but today, because I was mindful of continually sipping my water bottle, I ate an hour and a half later because - I can't believe I'm even typing this - I wasn't hungry.

Say what? I'll say it again:
I. Wasn't. Hungry.

Since we both did swimmingly on our challenge, we decided to keep it up tomorrow, and then Tiffany added this wrench: Plus do 100 sit ups.

Are you serious?
I'll die.
I can barely do 40 when I "work abs" without wanting to cry or stop from the sharp, searing pain of working a muscle that is buried under years of bad, bad, bad food!

But I accepted the challenge with determination.

No guts, no glory.
No pain, no gain.

Isn't that what Under Armour-clad gym rats and girls who can wear a sports bra as a top at the gym say?

Do you think I can do it tomorrow?
Stay tuned!

Eating good is definitely in season.

I was so excited to grocery shop last night - and not only because Mom gave me a $100 gift card to my grocer, which essentially meant this trip was free.
{Sweet!}

No, I was excited because I was going to buy food - good-for-me food.

I stocked up on a plethora of fruits and vegetables - salad, cucumber, avocados (my serious addiction), oranges, broccoli and red peppers, as well as tofu, Lean Cuisine pepperoni pizzas (my very serious addiction) and Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches (my very, very serious addiction).
{I am proud to report that I've yet to eat two of said ice cream sandwiches in one day. Keyword is clearly "YET."}

I felt like I was conquering my fridge.
Like I should put up a flag that said, "I stake this land out for only good things that will keep me on track."

I'm going to make guacamole. Tofu fettuccine Alfredo. Steamed veggies with a few sprays of butter and dry ranch dressing.

I'm going to keep buying these fruits and veggies, changing it up a bit so as not to get bored, and I'm going to not only conquer that fridge of mine, but also my obsession with food.

The New Regime: Day 29.

I am very disappointed.

I got on the scale this morning, after a vigorous 20 minutes on the Air Climber and a grueling mini-circuit I got from WeightWatchers magazine - and after yesterday's huge 2.5 mile walk and the day before that's vigorous Air Climbing, etc.

I lost absolutely nothing.
Nothing.
Even after this morning being the eighth day in a row that I've worked out hardcore.

I know I've not stuck 100 percent to eating healthy, but I ate my bad stuff* in moderation and no scale budge.
Just continued pudge.

I am disappointed - but not discouraged.
This is not going to derail me as it has in the past.

I will get on the scale next week and it will be down.
And if it's not - God forbid - I will look in the mirror and at my exercise log book** and know I'm making changes in myself - and my health.
Even if I can't see it just yet.

*chips, brie, dessert, cake, Halloween candy.
**a Hallmark calendar booklet where I write all my exercises in. I love looking back and seeing something written on nearly all the days, even if it was a brief 10 minutes. Movement is movement. It all counts.

The New Regime: Day 26

Today, we're going to have a pizza party at the office.

It's been One of Those Weeks, so the mini packages of M&Ms one of my coworkers brought in have been screaming my name. They've actually resorted to marching themselves right into my mouth all week long and frankly, I'm not having it today.

I decided to take smart action and nix the M&Ms once and for all.
No. Matter. What.
I will treat myself to one piece of pizza - it's free so I'd be silly to pass on it, really - and packed a nicely-sized salad to have once I'm done with that sole slice. I've got it chockablock with mixed greens, chick peas, olives and grape tomatoes to fill me up.

Here's hoping the willpower stays strong.

Chronic dieters, how do you fend off tasty diet saboteurs like snack- and fun-sized candies and office pizza parties?

The New Regime: Day 24.

As you can probably tell from the lack of TNR writings, someone went of the wagon again.
{But she assures she's back on full force this week.}

My weight reached Biblical proportions the last few weeks thanks to full-on boozing and noshing during a wedding weekend and I just decided it was time to stop the insanity. Finally.
{"Again."}

I've done some Proper Prior Planning this week and actually cooked something: veggie wraps I found in this month's Glamour magazine.

The wraps required sauteing veggies (I chose red and green peppers, grape tomatoes and chickpeas because I had a hankering for them). I took low-fat mozzarella, sprinkled it on a whole wheat tortilla, added those sauteed veggies, made a quasi-pocket and then
grilled
the
tortilla
to perfection.

It oozed cheese and was delicious.

I couldn't believe it.
I really couldn't believe it.

So tonight, I made it again.
Though the tortilla got a little too blackened (OK, a lot of too blackened), I was tickled pink again.

When added to my extra workout today (SELF yoga in the morning, 20 minutes on Air Climber when I got home), I am feeling pretty awesome right now.

I'm back, New Regime.
For good.
{I hope, oh how I hope!!}

I've spent the evening catching up on some Weight Watcher and Hungry Girl newsletters to help keep me motivated.
What do you do to stay on track?

The New Regime: Day 10.

Last night - which is Day 10 - I went to dinner with a friend and did something I've never done before: I didn't inhale - or finish - everything placed before me.

I daresay I Ate In Moderation.

My friend Amy has always been in control of her food intake.
I've seen her push aside a sandwich and fries about halfway through, while I eyed up those fries ravenously, still hungry as I finished my entire meal across the table from her.

I had been looking forward to the dinner all week and had every intention of eating, because I was starving.

Instead, I followed Amy's lead.

- When she pushed her salad plate aside, I followed suit.
- Our fantastic appetizer was taken away with two pieces of tuna - instead of me polishing off the leftovers "because there's starving kids in Africa."
- While I enjoyed one extra - and I will have you know tiny - piece of bread dipped in a delicious olive oil, I didn't go hog wild on it as I kind-of/sort-of wanted to.
- As I made it halfway through my entree, I pushed it aside before her because my brain was already pre-conditioned after two courses of eating in moderation.
- We pondered dessert, which I said we'd only take one bite of - and meant it, but opted to just enjoy one more glass of wine instead.

As we sat there and talked over that last glass, I couldn't help but revel in how I felt.

I didn't feel stuffed to the gills, nor did I feel guilty about being weak and gorging myself as I may or may not have been known to do.

Instead, I felt a little hungry still - and like someone who ate a great dinner with a great friend and enjoyed every bite of all that I had.

And best of all, for the first time ever I felt like I was in control of my eating.

I finally realized I don't have to stuff myself to the point of sick to enjoy a dinner.

Is that the sign of a lifestyle change or what?!

The New Regime: Days 4 & 5.

Wow. I can't believe it's been five whole days since I started TNR.
And that I stuck to it as rigidly as I did.

Yesterday, I had a really good morning workout and went out to dinner with Mommalah, where I actually behaved myself.

Today, I did a killer ab routine.
I got terribly peckish at work after eating my salad for lunch, so I grabbed my wallet and headed to the elevator that would take me down to the vending machine, where I was sure to fall prey to a bag of pretzels I'd eat in one sitting - a bag that probably had a serving size of three.

I hit the down button, and as I waited for the doors to open, I remembered the banana I brought in two days ago, that was slowly turning brown.

I remembered how good I felt this week.
I remembered how noticeably thin my face was already.
I remembered how proud I felt of how strong my willpower had been.
I remembered feeling my jammie pants get less snug as the week went on.
I remembered how I've been reveling that my stomach, which is still and probably always will be more fleshy than I'd like, was less fleshy than I began the week with.

Can I just tell you I enjoyed the hell out of that banana?
Almost as much as I enjoyed finding this:

The New Regime: Day 2

Today was sort of stellar, diet-wise.
I ate very well, did a heck of a yoga routine from an old SELF magazine - the one with tips from Jennifer Aniston's own instructor.

I just felt lighter, and felt completely wired most of the day after the morning's grande red eye from Starbucks (a medium coffee with a shot of espresso. SO GOOD! and SO EXPENSIVE!).

Was kind of pissed I got out of work a little later than expected, only because it meant I wouldn't be able to take a walk tonight. And I have to be out of the house retardedly early tomorrow, so no pre-work workout.

Enter The Testing Zone.
Historically, if I get sidetracked or have a crazy schedule one day, it derails my whole regime.

Well, not this time damn you.

Since the early bird will be out ... well, early tomorrow, she'll be home early as well, and plans to take a big ole walk.
I can't wait.

On Sunday, I stocked up on Lean Cuisine and bought myself a new SHAPE magazine for inspiration, even going so far as to ask Mommalah for a subscription for Christmas.

That little question spawned The New Regime's first challenge (as if eating healthy and exercising at least five days a week isn't challenging enough).

The challenge is to lose 10 pounds by the time my first issue arrives.

I think I can do it.
I know I can do it.
I want to do it.
Do you think I can do it?

{Because I am so easily discouraged, I'd love for you to comment below with some of your suggestions and tips on how to keep my will power - and call me out if/when I fall off the wagon.}

Taking a bite out of Charlotte, or Oink Oink Part Deux.

Sorry I've been so MIA - I went on a long overdue and much-needed vacation.
Ahh.
Went back to work today and it was like the vacation didn't happen.
OK ... maybe I am slightly dramatic.

What better way to recapture my wonderful vacation to visit my brother in North Carolina than to list all the wonderfully fatty and non-diet friendly food I ate.
Unfortunately, there are no pics to accompany, but I'm sure we can all envision how great they all were.

- Wednesday, Aug. 5
LUNCH: Frankie's Italian Grille. Charlotte.
Had the Mona Lisa salad which comes with amazing dressing and fresh goat cheese that is to die for (my brother says they sometimes deep fry it - oh, the deliciousness that must be!). I also wailed on every slice of bread that was served with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Plus, I ordered the orgasmic Nutella bread pudding. Yes, it was as sinfully exquisite as it sounds.

DINNER: Azteca. Charlotte.
Had chips and salsa at this delightful Mexican joint and fresh, table made guacamole that was served in a real stone bowl. I could barely even lift it, which made it that much easier for me to wail on it. Fresh jalapenos gave it a fiery kick. I realized that I absolutely adore tamales. And burritos smothered in cheese. Think maybe I knew that but forgot. (As if!) Since I ate so well-behaved (wink, wink), I treated myself to a lime margarita on the rocks.

In the interim between lunch and dinner, I was introduced to Sweet Tea vodka. I don't know where it's been all my life, but it is certainly here to stay now.

- Thursday, Aug. 6
BRUNCH: Ate my leftover Mexican.

DINNER: Hawthorne's New York Pizza & Bar. Mint Hill.
We all shared the chili cheese dip and I ate two exquisite slices of round with hot peppers and one slice Sicilian with mushrooms and black olives. Finished the Nutella bread pudding after brother and "sister" went to bed. Not because I was eating in hiding, but because I honestly forgot. This may have been the night I watched "The Nanny Diaries."

- Friday, Aug. 7
BRUNCH: I think I ate leftover pizza. Cold, naturally.

DINNER: Cosmos Cafe. Uptown Charlotte.
After meeting friends at their house for drinks and things, we all headed out for tapas and a continuation of drinking as I was already about four deep into a Sweet Tea vodka binge. We split an array of sushi, Lucky 7 spring rolls and many other things. I heard Jamie Foxx's "Blame It," which caused me to burst into it many times over the rest of my vacation, much to my brother's anger.

{The night then included a flirtini at Blue, mad fun dancing and Sweet Tea vodka and lemonades at The Breakfast Club, an '80s-themed heaven, if you ask me, and a very, very funny cab ride with a Liberian driver who had "Scarface" on the DVD player. The ride included tales of sheep and me repeating the only line from "Scarface" that I know: "Meet my lil' friend!" Ahh. Good times.}

- Saturday, Aug. 8
DINNER: Shrimp, filet and lobster tail on the grill.
We skipped breakfast and lunch because we all felt the effects from the night before all day. Brother grilled the above and it was phenomenal. I relieved his refrigerator of two framboise Lambics.

- Sunday, Aug. 9
BRUNCH: Upstream. Charlotte.
Where where where to even begin. This was the most exquisite brunch I've ever had, and believe me, I've had a lot! Cheese. Capers. Smoked salmon. Mac n cheese. Hummus. Even raw oysters and sushi for those that could eat that at 11:30 a.m., which I could not. The best part? The tapas, which is included in the brunch buffet. Eggs Benedict over a crab cake. Yes, you heard me: Eggs Benedict over a crab cake. Belgium waffle with bourbon bananas. The most ridiculously good French toast. Shrimp with grits which was actually really good (not normally a fan of grits). Despite all that sugary sustenance - especially with double servings of the Belgium waffle, I had to have the pecan pie and chocolate peanut butter dessert thing. I felt like I ate my weight.

DINNER: Mac's Speed Shop. Charlotte.
This biker bar/barbecue had amazing hush puppies and the brisket was off the hook, as the hipsters say. So tender! And the onion rings were super peppery and tasty. Add two cans o' Guinness to wash it down and I was one very happy piggy!

- Monday, Aug. 10
BREAKFAST: Cracker Barrel. Matthews.
You simply cannot go wrong with Cracker Barrel. Two eggs over easy. Hash brown casserole. Biscuits and gravy. Coffee. Grapefruit juice. Manna from the sky.

DINNER: Turkey, ham and provolone hoagie and fries from a place whose name escapes me.
Very tasty, especially since it capped off a day of non-stop drinking. Sweet Tea martinis. Most of the framboise.

- Tuesday, Aug. 11
BREAKFAST: Brother made pancakes and scrambled eggs with crab and toast.
Green Mountain Island Coconut coffee. Mmm mmm good!

LUNCH: Just a quick sandwich before we left for the airport.

{Note: Despite a previous declaration, I did not actually take any outfits that resembled workout clothes. The only shoes I had were two pairs of flip-flops and two pairs of stilettos. I basically did nothing more than stuff my face every chance I got and stayed as sedentary as I possibly could - it was everything I knew it could be.}

{Note II: And I actually came home one pound lighter!}

Fin.